times two!

I have two things to talk about today. Two of my problems.

My WIP was going brilliantly. Over 30 pages and the last time I stopped I knew where I was going to pick it up the next day. My problem is the there was no next day. It is now the next week. I have legitimate reasons why it was impossible for me to do any in that time, including two tests, a birthday etc etc. Except when I picked it up again, though I had a reasonable idea where it must go next overall, the momentum has gone. I also have this nagging idea that I have to write EXACTLY what I had planned.

I know what I must do. I must just write. And write tomorrow. And the next day, and everyday after that. Momentum was more important than what I had planned for the next couple of pages, and a page a day is better than weeks of nothing. I still love my WIP, and my OC Lady Violet: this is just a speed bump.

My other problem.

Hello my name is Liza, and I am a shopaholic.

Today I realised what my boyfriend (life partner? other half? another blog post?) has been trying to tell me for a long time. My spending on clothes is a problem. I can not fit my new things in my overflowing drawers. I have spent more money on clothes than on anything else, probably including food. I don't know because I have not looked at a bank statement in over a year. I don't even buy shoes or high end stuff. Just lots and lots of cheap run of the mill clothes. I don't even have good taste.

I realised I have a problem when I saw my sisters closest and how little was in it. My problem started when I got my first 'proper' job, where I got paid a proper pay check at the end of the month. It started slowly, just a few items here and there to fill out my closest. Now six years later, (specifically the last two years) it is a huge problem. HUGE.

I know what I have to obviously. Stop buying clothes. Except half the ones I own...I don't like any more...

Big Mistake

So I made a big mistake today. One that I have consistently been told not to make (mostly on the blogs I follow).

As a writer one of the biggest mistakes to make is comparing yourself to other writers. Pretty obvious right? We all have different gifts, we are each unique and special and blah blah blah...

Well anything so obvious and logical when it comes to our selves is going to be bloody impossible to actually apply. When a girl walks past in those iddy biddy shorts with no cellulite, we compare ourselves to her. Unfavourably. Never mind that she's like eight years younger than us and a champion roller blader. We don't see the things that she doesn't like about herself (maybe her neck is too long and she thinks she looks like a giraffe).

So today I was casually checking out Janet Reid's blog, one my of favourites, and I blindly followed her link to Lauren DeStefano, not knowing that my heart and ambitions were about to be crushed.

DeStefano is only a little younger than me. But I am not upset she is getting published and I am not. She has written a book and I have not (well, no finished ones anyway). Yet after reading her (sadly sparse) blog, I almost wept in self pity and reverence. The feelings of doubt and inadequacy dug at my already tender heart.

She has an amazing voice, and a lot of confidence in that voice. She also has a clear imagination and an elegant locution that does more than "swirl around you", it pulls you into its own universe.

I'll continue to write. I will finish my current WIP. In tune with the tap tap of the keys, will be: "we all have different gifts, we are each unique and special and blah blah blah..."

inspiration

I AM SO EXCITED

I want to be writer, and I have the usual writer fears. The most common one is that I am not good enough. But I can work on that and practice. I can DO something about it. I have another fear that has always lurked at the back of my brain: that I don't have enough good stories. Something I have no idea what to do about. I read other writers blogs and it seems they usually have a couple WIPs going ALL THE TIME. I have had a few stories in my life, but not many. Until now.

I have been thinking about a biggy for about 6 months and have it planned out, though I haven't written much yet (too busy a Uni, but getting there). Then in the last month every spare moment I have, little stories have been popping up in my head. Its wonderful. Lots of characters showing themselves a little, scenes and possible plots. So I was starting to feel a bit better about it.

Then today a brand new, sparkling, fully developed story appeared (in the middle of a boring lecture!). I am already in love with the character, know her name, can picture the setting, her motivation- EVERYTHING. And its GOOD. I mean, I like my current WIP. A lot. Unfortunately it has a lot of kinks in it and things to be worked out, and I have been feeling insecure about it. But I LOVE this one and all I have to do is write it:)

I have no idea where inspiration comes from. However, I am so grateful to which ever god out bestowed this on me. Thank you, I now know I have stories to tell.